Here’s how to “really” help a new mom
As a society we have a long way to go when supporting our moms out there, but this little list is somewhere to start.
That newborn bubble is very special and letting that new family bond and adjust is very important. Before following any of these tips we suggest making sure they are approved by mom.
Offer her an opportunity to sleep - I was a bit spoiled since my parents came to stay with us after our baby was born. After some encouragement, they managed to take little baby from my husband and me for a couple hours so we could sneak in some sleep. I felt like a human again. Oh how I'll never underestimate the power of sleep.
Do something helpful - It could have just been my stereotypical Midwest politeness, but I did not feel comfortable asking anyone for help. I really appreciated when my family came over and brought over my favorite take-out, loaded my dishwasher, shoveled & salted the path to the front door, and watched the baby while I showered. All those little things made my life easier. Just be sure it’s not to cross into pushy territory though.
Hire a night doula - I guess you can say I had my own personal night doula, my mom. She stayed with us for the first two weeks and it. Was. Amazing! She not only knew all the tricks to get baby to sleep, but she let me sleep too. If you’re not able to help in this way, a night doula or nurse is a great option so long as it’s okay with mom.
Bring food - Though I did mention it earlier, I figured it deserved it’s own point. Bring food! I had all the intentions to meal prep beforehand, but when the baby came before the due date I was left to return home to an empty fridge. Tasty food elevates everyones spirits. Another option - Organize a meal train. With sites like mealtrain.com it makes this process even more simple.
Spend time with her & listen - One of the more obvious ones, but just hanging out with a friend can make you feel like yourself again. And let’s face it, we need just as much support postpartum. With so many new changes it can be easy to get swept up into motherly duties. We strongly recommend reaching out to mom to see when is a good time for a visit. Then letting her talk about whatever she wants, which can include other topics other than the baby.
Be encouraging - Right after I had my baby I asked my husband to sprinkle in compliments to me and tell me I was doing a good job. I especially appreciated when he would tell me I was beautiful, especially when I felt far from it. That encouragement kept me motivated through some sleepless nights.
Hiring a photographer will ensure she gets all those little moments documented.
It’s the closest thing we have to slowing time.
7. Hire her a photographer- *Cough, me* But seriously, photos are such an underestimated gift. Not only to do photos provide a little encouragement to dress up (for once, if she’s anything like me) and feel beautiful, but it will also allow for a professional to capture all those sweet little cuddles and kisses. Something she’ll cherish FOREVER. After all, it’s the closest thing we all have to stopping time. Bonus tip, take photos of her every time you see her and send them to her. Moms never get enough photos taken of them.
8. Bring her a gift - Because who doesn’t love a little gift?! Some ideas I recommend would be Kevin Murphy hair pumping shampoo which not only smells amazing, but is great for that postpartum hair loss. You could also try nursing friendly clothes, spa gift card, ring sling/baby carrier (so she can both bond with baby & have two hands free), water bottle, and postpartum panties with hidden pockets for ice packs.
9. Hire a cleaning crew - There is nothing like coming home to a clean house. My poor mom acted not only as a night nurse & chef, but also my cleaning crew. I had not had much time to prepare my house. My mom helped me SO MUCH. Getting a crew to come by before the due date might make some people uncomfortable, but will be well worth it. A professional cleaning crew will be able to get all those low nooks and crannies that have probably been unreachable the last couple of months.